Thursday, August 9, 2012

Pregnancy: The truth and nothing but the truth (part 1)

We have been led to believe that pregnant women are magical beings who walk around in a state of euphoria from the joy of their impending motherhood. But the day-to-day experience is a much different story.

Here are just a few pros and the newly discovered cons from my first four months:

Pro- I get to eat more!
Con- That doesn't mean I get to eat double. That whole "eating for two" is a myth! Okay, my grade school science should have figured that out, seeing as I weigh 120 lbs. and my baby weighs (or will weigh) only a few pounds but all you ever hear about is how much you get to eat when you're preggers. But if I suddenly began eating for two ,literally, guess what... my baby only takes a small percentage of it, the rest is plain old fat that goes to my thighs and butt. What the...? I thought I was allowed to eat Crispy Creams and Papa Johns for dinner! The truth, you're only meant to eat 300-400 calories more a day (that's equivalent to a bowl of cereal... yawn). So unless I want to spend an extra six months in the gym, while trying to take care of an infant (I don't think so!), then I can only eat for 1.15. I guess I'll stick with my green smoothies and fish and veges (with an occasional side of ice cream).
  

Pro- I finally have boobs!
Con- They are eclipsed by my protruding belly.


Con (no pro to go with this one, sadly): GAS. Yep ladies, you're babies cooking with gas, lots of it. (It's caused by the hormone progesterone that we pregnant women produce lots of, which slows down food digestion, and creates gas.)
I've basically gotten to the point where I just don't care and slip-ups have begun to happen (especially at home). Either my husband's going deaf or he's politely ignoring these slip-ups and I'm not gonna ask him in case it's the former (or the latter!)
If this made you squimish, suck it up, because I'm the one living it! And it only gets better, er... or worse.
 
 
(more to come...)

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