Cuddle fetish

Can't. Breathe.

When I arrive at a party or home where children are present, before I can say hello, a baby has been shoved into my arms. My friends must think I'm so desperate for a baby, I'll take whatever I can get. I do love holding babies but the second the kid starts wailing, I practically throw it back at it's parents.
But recently I was at a gathering where my friend brought over her newborn baby boy. He was a calm child who cuddled into my chest like a warm blanket.
As I held him, one of the girl's at the gathering informed me that when you hold a baby the "cuddle hormone", oxytocin, is released and it can stimulate pregnancy hormones. I held that child so tight to me, that when his mother finally pealed him off my chest, his hair was matted to his head in a sweaty mess. I had been holding onto that child for dear, fertile life!
Poor kid. I probably gave him some sort of complex... or an early boob fetish.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

I'm vain. I'm so vain that I make sure my girly bits are nice and pretty for my ObGyn. He probably can't tell one vag from the next after all his years staring between women's legs but I always want to look my best- no matter who I'm in front of (or what's in front of them).