Friday, May 24, 2013

Epic boob fail… coming to you LIVE (or the art of breastfeeding in public)

Breastfeeding happens anywhere, any time, in public and private. I am so used to pulling the girls out that it is inevitable that one day I'll give the live version of my birth announcement faux pas. 

Some people find breastfeeding in public offensive. Some people only find it offensive if the mom is indiscreet. This blows my mind. I find no shame in feeding a hungry baby any time she needs me to and I certainly don’t feel I have to cover up to do so. It is one of the most natural and loving things for a woman to do. Mothers should NEVER feel ashamed for doing what is completely natural. I celebrate these women (including moi).

Luckily, most states have gotten on board and support breastfeeding mothers. And if I ever see someone get the stink eye (including myself), I have no problem standing up for our rights (human, civil, and mother).
I've already sent my boob out to everyone I know when I accidentally photo (boob) bombed my birth announcement photo. And now that I’m so used to whipping ‘em out and breastfeeding, I know one day I’ll stand up and walk on down the street, my boob winking at the passersby. People pay good money to see a shot of a naked breast and I'll be giving it away for free!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Move over grandma!

I just took my first fitness class at my new gym. I'm easing back into the fitness routine but I think I took it a little too easy.

I should have realized something was amiss when I stepped into the studio and the music began playing at half speed and half volume. Remember the days when the batteries ran low on your cassette player and it sounded like a cat dying? Yeah, it sounded like that. The next clue was the playlist; The Supremes, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis, The Four Tops. As I took my fellow fitness-mates in, I realized I was the youngest person in the class by forty years.

The class was called Forever Fit. That should have been my first clue.

All the ladies were really nice but they were a bit curious as to why I took the senior aerobics class.  I told them I'd just had a baby so I was taking it easy. Excitedly they explained how the class differed each day of the week and that I could use heavier weights to make the class more challenging if I needed it and that some days they even did a bit of yoga. I didn't have the heart to tell them I took the class by mistake, so I might just have pull my Depends back out and grab a bottle of ginkgo biloba and say hello to my little friends every week.